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"What's Love Got
To Do With It?"
An Essay by Kevin
Welch
"I
wondered where you were," she chided him. Finding him alone under the shade
tree, she pressed herself against his hip - just a little more than she
needed to, he thought.
"They're both going to the
movies tonight," she whispered. She slowly licked his neck just below his
right ear. He enjoyed the shiver her mouth had given him ... but for only a
moment. Then he pulled away.
Ever since they were youngsters
together, she'd been more playful with him than the others, he knew. She
liked him. That much was obvious; it didn't matter why, he figured. And so
it really didn't surprise him just how much she teased him whenever she
might have the chance - like today. That was just her way.
Never, however, could he let on
to her how much she meant to him or give to her the attention she craved. It
would spoil all the fun, he thought, and ... and, what? He really couldn't
be sure. There were times, he knew, when he wanted her desperately. Still,
somehow he'd gotten the idea that he wasn't good enough for her, somehow, in
some important way. Once she said he was too lazy. Maybe that's all there is
to it.
And so, he backed off pretending
to ignore her and with a smile that was part wink and part leer, he just
looked back at her admiringly - over, up and down. Something was different
today, he sensed. Maybe the way she moved, a demanding, almost wanton, look
in her eye, the smell - something, yes, the smell....
"Maybe you'll be my first..."
she grinned and lightly licked her lips. Then, in one quick but graceful
move, she turned away and headed back toward the house. Halfway there, she
paused and peeked back over her shoulder. Both of them knew he was looking
when she wiggled her hips invitingly, and taunted "... then again. maybe
not!"
"You bitch" he thought to
himself. But instead he yelled back. "Like there could ever be someone
better!" he flattered himself. Still, he wondered: was there someone better?
Her wicked laugh echoed through
the closing door "You've got to pass some pretty high standards to be with
me, Mister. So make sure you got your proof!"
Now, what was THAT supposed to
mean? Don't I live up to her "standards," he asked himself. What "proof" is
she talking about? What does she really have in mind for tonight? "Bitches!
I'll never understand them..." he muttered to himself. Distracted now, he
could only try to get on with whatever he'd do to kill the rest of the
afternoon. "I guess I'll learn soon enough", he accepted."
"I
think we're alone now." she said to him through the back window. "They
didn't even say goodbye. But I'm sure I heard the garage door. Climb in
here. The neighbors, you know."
He felt ridiculous.
"Presentation is everything," she'd once said, and here he was, all spruced
up, climbing through the window. Still, the promise of what was to come was
worth it. He'd been feeling the stirring all afternoon, thinking of nothing,
but her scent and that exciting rhythm in her body. "Damn," he moaned as he
tripped on the window screen and fell through, twisting an ankle.
Her aroused mood unaffected, she
smiled alluringly and said "Come over here next to me, sailor. I'll I make
it feel all better, ok." He winced slightly with each step. But they both
laughed aloud when he joked, "Mrs. Robinson. I think you're trying to seduce
me!"
"You're such a smart boy", she
said. "Always were. Even when we were in kindergarten together... So Mr.
Smart guy, before we go any further, did you bring it?"
"Bring what"" he smiled,
thinking she meant something different.
"Don't be coy, now" she said, a
bit distant. "I told you about my standards. Did you bring us protection,
proof, the documents? You know, the health tests you said were done!"
"What do you mean 'health
tests'? " he said, suddenly remembering the lie.
"We both need to be
disease-free, I told you. I had mine done. The papers are right here.
Where're yours?" She showed him a copy of her CSH and record of her health
tests from DogTests. Angry now, she pressed "You said you had yours done; so
did you or didn't you? Before I came into season 2 weeks ago I asked you and
you said your tests were up to date and that you had a health registry
number. Where is it? What's your number?"
"Whoa", he thought, what a
change! Moments ago she was all ready and willing and we were going to ...
and now THIS. I better talk fast, he thought "But I do have a number, it's
OFA and I just left it behind tonight. It's up-to-date, trust me.
Sweetheart, you look so good tonight, you know" He tried to nuzzle against
her. But she pushed him away.
"Oh. really? Then what is it?
What's your OFA number?" she demanded.
"Thirteen," he said hoping she
didn't know a closed registry from an open one. "It means I passed thirteen
out of thirteen tests." An aroused male has no conscience, it's been
said.
"13, eh? Do you think I'm a
fool? First of all OFA is a closed registry system with very loooong
numbers, ok? And a single OFA number doesn't do it for me - even if you DID
have one! OFA numbers are only about ONE disease each. And they don't
require renewal. I have to know that you are clear on ALL tests. At least a
CSH will tell me that!
"13, huh? Oh, Mr. Handsome, what
a disappointment you've turned out to be. Listen, I thought I was clear. I
need to know that my mate is healthy - and that his family is healthy, too!"
"Mating, at least with me,
isn't just for fun, pal! We're purebred dogs - remember? We have sex mainly
to reproduce. If you and I can't produce healthy dogs, I just can't and will
not be with you. My owners are coming back tonight with some 'stud dog'
they've picked out for me. He's got all his tests and documentation. But
he's not as attractive to me as you. I was just hoping... well never mind,
you're too immature anyway.
"Now get out of here and don't
come back until you have your act together, do you understand?"
Just then the kennel door burst
open and a booming voice rang. "GET OUT OF HERE, you half-deaf little cur!"
her master shouted, frightening the disappointed 15-month old back out the
broken window he came in. The lazy dog jumped quickly out the window over a
quick brown fox, and sprinted across the yard forgetting all about his
injured ankle.
"Great, just great" the big man
said looking down at the little bitch in her 2nd season. "Now we'll have to
take you to the vet tomorrow - just in case."
Oh, the life of a breeder can be
so frustrating, he thought silently.
"Just as well," he said to her.
"We've decided, little girl, to wait another season for you anyway. You're a
bit too immature right now, we figure -and tonight the owners of Mr. Stud
Dog really couldn't prove his health tests anyway.
"Of course, that probably
wouldn't matter to our little girl in heat. So, thank goodness it's
important to your mother and me. We'd probably wind up with a huge litter by
that unilaterally deaf one that just flew out the window!"
The
point of all this, of course, is that left to their own devices, our dogs
are not likely to go through such a screening of potential mates. Instead,
when biologically ready, they will mate without concern for heritable
disease. The use of information to help guide the mating process in purebred
dogs is entirely ours to regard as both a responsibility and an opportunity.
If we collect it wisely and use it properly we can magnify all the virtues,
including health, in our dogs that we treasure and eliminate what we must -
disease.
Several methods of health
information exchange exist today. We have 1) word of mouth assurances, 2)
actual test results we have at home, 3) open registries, and 4) closed
registries. The limits of the first two are well known.
Registries, both open and
closed, are central repositories of test data that are provided by owners
and breeders. Ordinarily, these databases are maintained for a fee by a
separate organization, which then makes the data more widely available to
interested parties, again usually for a fee.
"Closed" registries, the best
known of which is OFA, grant designations (numbers) upon submission of
health tests that meet certain standards. Such registry numbers usually
apply to a single disease or condition tested for at a single time. In
actual practice they are seldom updated with new information probably
because a fee is usually involved And because once you've passed a test you
don't generally hurry to take it over again later - human nature.
On the other hand, "Open"
registries in concept maintain information on health test results for all
animals whether they pass or fail. Again, these ordinarily apply to a single
disease. In theory, open registries are more inclusive and therefore more
informative. But in practice, absent mandatory compliance, there is less
participation and little incentive to test all animals and to disclose all
results.
Health data itself suffers from
the twin problems of being either incomplete (what about the parents or
littermates?) or perishable (yesterday's murmur-free may be stenotic
tomorrow). What we ultimately need of course is health status information
for as many dogs as possible over time and simultaneously for a variety of
conditions - similar to a movie made from a series of stills at key angles.
Today even the best program, CSH, a closed registry for multiple disorders,
gives us multiple angles but only one point in time, if the data isn't
updated. CSH says a dog was disease-free in 4 conditions but only for that
point in time. We do need this and it at least gives us something to go on.
But we need more, too.
For this purpose a new open
registry program is being proposed, called DogTests ™. It is tailored to
show not just the latest but all health test results for MBT's in 4
different areas: heart, eyes, hearing, kidney. Anyone can subscribe at no
charge and with widespread participation within the MBTCA we can soon gather
health histories on a great share of the living MBT'S. Subscribers can post
information on their dogs, which only other subscribers can view. Our
reports can show histories and pedigree searches can be done for disease
history for families or ancestors.
You can look at samples of
reports and the forms needed to submit test results at the BTHS website at
www.healthydogs.com. If you want to subscribe or learn more, send email to
Dogtests@healthydogs.com. You'll receive instruction immediately. Internet
access is not required. However, use of a computer with a printer is. If you
cannot get to the Internet but have a computer, I have prepared a CD-Rom
that you can use to get started.
The better our information the
better our decisions,
-Kevin Welch |
